My Personal Testimony

I became a Christian in February of 1997 at the end of my senior year of high school. Through a series of tumultuous life events, I eventually bowed the knee to Christ.

My dreams of playing college ball were shattered when I dislocated my right ankle for the second time and had a poor playing season. My dream of playing in the all-eastern and all-state orchestra festivals was also shattered when the adjudicator for my NYSSMA exam simply decided not to give me a perfect score, that which I needed to qualify for those two festivals.

And thirdly, my parents got a divorce around my sophomore year of college. That's when my life started to spiral down slowly and everything eventually came crashing down. And, of course, like every sob story, it's always about a girl.

I had a "girlfriend" my senior year of high school for about three weeks. Sad, I know. I don't even know if you could call it a relationship it was so short-lived, but it was enough of an attachment for me to be really hurt by it's abrupt end.

I recall being in tears after the phone conversation with her that broke it off and being so angry with God. Under normal circumstances I don't think I would've reacted quite as strongly as I did but along with all the other dreams that I had shattered coupled with my family problems, I had lost all composure and my grip on life completely slipped.

I shook my fists at the heavens, angry at God and cursed Him to his face, saying "I hate you, God!" From that moment on I remember setting out to do everything possible in my power to hurt God as much as He'd hurt me.

I started partying like crazy, swore a lot, drank lots of alcohol, listened to heavy metal music and just lived a very wild, rebellious lifestyle that reflected the angst and hatred I felt inside my heart. I wanted to forget my pain and indulge myself in the pleasures this world had to offer and I found myself doing unspeakable things that eventually God saved me from.

One day I remember wanting to stop the habits I was doing but felt powerless to do so. It was as if the habits had taken over my life and I wasn't living my own life, I was being ruled by the addictions I had. I literally became a "Romans 7 man."

The passage that describes the man who is unable to do the good he wants to do and keep on doing the evil instead was exactly me. It described me perfectly. At that point in my life I hadn't been to church in so long but my mother's friend told her about a church that I should maybe check out.

I knew God was there but I wasn't ready to face Him. I attended several Sunday school classes before one day a sister at the chruch invited me to their annual youth ski retreat. That was the first time in my life I felt a tug on my heart from God to go to this retreat.

It was there that I realized this was what I wanted. I missed God and I missed going to chruch and the Christian life from what I knew of it and was ready to trade in all my habits and addictions for a life of Christ's righteousness. He cleaned me up and put me on the path to salvation and sanctification.

After that, I went to college where I got plugged into Inter-Varsity Christian fellowship right away. And it was through this fellowship mainly and other experiences that I grew exponentially in my faith.

I stopped swearing, the alcohol habit dropped right away, I cleaned up my demeanor, changed my musical tastes and truly started a fresh, brand new life in Christ, which was amazing and so sweet day by day.

It's amazing to see how good the Lord has been to me and what He's done in my life. It's been a life of ups and downs, triumphs and failures, and has not been easy by any stretch. There were actually some days I recall saying to myself that it was actually easier being a non-Christian!

But all is worth it for the love of my Lord, Jesus christ. I wouldn't trade my life now for anyting in the world. Having Christ and nothing else is better than having all the riches in the world and not having Him at all. He is my true north and my all in all. He is everything. May I preach Him and preach Him crucified in my daily life. Praise the Lord!